THE SILENT WOMAN
They are making it seem like this Harvey Weinstein “thing” is an anomaly. That there is this handful of sleazy , sexually deviant men that prey on women.
When in reality, as ALL women know, and DO NOT share, is this scenario goes on everyday for women in one form or another. We have learned the “skills” to “dodge” it, live with it, ignore it, so we can live our lives.
Everything from going to the corner store, to walking to the train, to the workplace & social gathering, women are constantly navigating the murky waters of unwarranted, unwanted, male attention. From an unwanted “ hello, Why
don t you smile?”remark on your way to work ,the clerk at the corner store telling you how nice you look today, sexual innuendos from colleagues, coworkers, and bosses, to “catcalls” from construction workers ( no this is not an urban myth, it actually still happens).
I always advised my daughters if they did feel in danger they could go into a store and ask for help or tell a police officer, until one day when my 20 year old was traveling to school at 6 am and a cop tried to chat her up and ask for a date . (She told him she was 15, to deter him), instead of maybe watching out for the cute, young blonde girl walking to the train, he chose to show his power and dominance in this way instead.
My daughter asked me , why do men do that? How do I answer that in an intelligent way?
I even turned to science and told her perhaps it is hard-wired into their brain to try to procreate as much as possible and in modern times it has turned into this..Or maybe it is a show of power or dominance, or maybe they were raised to think this is what a man does.
Now here I must place my caveat. I’m not saying that all men/ boys behave this way (Most men I know do not behave in this manner).
What I AM trying to say is we keep it silent, and do not complain or shout or become disgruntled or protest or make signs, become outraged, cry “foul”… If we did, we would be spending our whole lives doing that… And It probably wouldn’t t change a thing.
So just like every other person who is targeted for what they are, we try to stay cautious, and ignore most of what is said or done to us in a given day. We learn to maneuver in a situation and we hope & pray we do not get into a situation that gets out of hand.
Is it “fair”? Is it “right”? What does that even mean in today’s world? It is our reality, take from that what you will.